I'm back from a much needed vacation, sometimes I write so much my fingers stop functioning in protest. I've got some stories to tell.
A close friend is down about her current dating situation. Let me rewind to a few months back, her and I were on the same page, our fellas had stopped contacting us. Mine after one year of dating disappeared for a whole week. My solution to her was for us to drink the strongest drink we can find and flirt until we can't flirt no more. Fast forward, my fella and I worked out his little communication issue and I got to hear her story.
After months of dating, hand holding in public, late night lovin and eggs in the morning, and whispering I love you into her ear, he disappeared. She chopped it up to his demanding work, told herself he'll be back.And he did come back, with apologies to spare, he hooked her. One fine afternoon they were to meet to 'talk' about where and who and what they were. Only he didn't keep his end of the bargain. Sitting alone in public, she had had enough. Using the world wide web, she was able to find his very public information and decided to end this charade once and for all, afterall she was falling for him. She arrived at his dwelling, and knocked...
That's when SHE answered, the ring big enough to see from a mile away. "Can I help you?" My friends mind flooded with scenarios, if she'd had a pot of grits I bet that would've been the one she went with. But being the professional she is, she kept her cool and told her she was there to see her friend. Intuition kicked in and the two had a question and answer session fit for a game show, all the while this Jester stood watching his work, pleased at the women both there on his accord. She left the situation wiser, and cautious enough to scare the next man to pieces.
So the question is could this have been avoided?
There are a few signs that every woman shouldn't ignore.
1) Ask
Even if he lies, your conscious is clear. A word of warning if a man really wants to get at you he will gladly lie, but you've done your duty. This question should actually be asked pretty quickly, probably right after you learn his name. Don't just look for a ring, a ring can easily be taken off.
2) Be in the house
If you haven't seen his dwelling, more than likely he's hiding something. If you're really dating, feeling eachother, you're his girl etc, within a month you should see his place of living. A man with a wife and kids isn't going to take you to his place, you're his little secret. If you've been dating for a while and you've never seen his personal space, somethings going on.
3) He should be a showoff
If you haven't met his friends and family... hmmmm. This is a big sign, if you're his girl and his only girl, he will proudly let you meet the people closest to him. Because you're close to him so it only makes sense. You can meet his male friends and still be the other woman, make sure you meet a female in his life.
4) A sleepover isn't a commitment
Some wives are amazing. A man can date you, spend the night and still go home and keep his legs. Just because he's spending the midnight hours cuddled with you, doesn't mean he doesn't have a family. And if he NEVER spends the night with you, well that's an easy sign. Just keep your intuition open for this one, you can tell yourself the answer 9 out of 10 times.
Women have an amazing sense of intuition, we guess whats going on in a relationship early on, and usually we ignore it. That's why you often hear women saying 'I knew this was going on' We fall for a man and deny that he could do us dirt, and if we find out we are the other woman, we wonder why the wife didn't have him on a leash. He's an independent thinking person and being with you while having a family was HIS choice. You keep your intuition in check and set your position in his life early on. And if it isn't going anywhere that's okay, your Prince Charming is out there somewhere.
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