Dating

What ever happened to the guy asking you out and than picking you up, getting something to eat and than maybe a movie after words. It seems that in my generation. This does not exist. I can't say for all but its rare to find a guy to take you out and expect you not to pay for the meal. I try and stay as humble as possible so that I shy away from the negative aspects of dating and look at the positive. Ladies we know what we want we want to be wined and dined. We want to feel good and treated like we are special. I'm about to b 21 in two months and no I haven't given up on black men, but I am starting to talk to older men when I say I older I mean 25 and up because it just seems to me I can barely talk to someone who is my age. Why because a lot of the young men don't have much sense, their immature, and most importantly they don't have their $H%T together. It seems like everyone wants to be a player still and as for me, I guess I should be that way because I'm very young but I've done that and it gets old. Real old. So going to start trying this dating thing out for a change with men 25 and up I want to see differences

Could OCTOMOM be black?

Could we see a black Ocotomama? There are so many planned parenthood stations everywhere in urban and rural areas where many low income black communities are located. Often as a community I think we see children as being bad rather than the black men who leave these babies as the real culprits. If you married a man, loved him, dated him, or better yet slept with him, you probably thought you two had some type of future. Today still , black women are treated 3/5 human. In other words a white woman getting knocked up has a better chance of marrying the father of the child or remarrying a way better guy. Let us be real, whether you are a supermodel or a plain jane you have a better chance of having a really good stepdad if you are a white woman. In comparison, a sista with just one child that looks beautiful as ever( and of course we look great in all shapes and shades ) may never even have a chance? Better yet, this black sista with one child or even more will be marked with the Scarlett letter from her own black sista's and black men, and even more the non black mainstream America. This is what we mean that the black woman is only 3/5 human still in our society. She is unable to chose the path of being treated like most women are, she is unable to be treated like a gem, this is not seen as natural.So, as I look at Octomom, I wonder what would have happened if she was black? The idea of bringing 8 black babies in the world is real scary? I honestly believe the black family has been a target for decades. Our men have been brainwashed to hate us and thus hate himself. The black woman has also been scared to reproduce. Our children are seen as problems unless we are rich or upper middle class. A white single woman can have eight babies and no one will say she is a welfare queen, but a black mother going to a community college in need of a little public assistance is a demon?'Most of all black babies are the future of black America, and maybe we view them different within the context mainstream culture? I believe to a certain extent we are castrating the black woman symbolically to not produce a new generation( of course having kids does not make us, it is a choice ). Nonetheless,the seeds of self hate are not as visible like decades before, it is hard to push a button on it, but it begins with the defamation of our image in the media, our communities, in music, in politics, in economics. All of these things work to ensure we are handicapped as women and thus as mothers. Those who want to rise above these obstacles have to work ten times as harder than other women in our society. The mental stress we get from this situation can be annoying , especially when this stress is invisible to other groups of people and our own people.

So, when we see a black woman with a baby versus a white woman what comes to your mind first? There are recent reports today that a woman if GIVING BIRTH TO 12 BABIES?

WHAT IF OCTOMOM WAS BLACK?

Do I need to be married to have a baby?

This is an age old society debate. Does a woman need to be married to raise a well rounded child that grows up to be a help not a hinderance to society? As I watch the women around me get older, focusing on careers, noone is anywhere near the isle. And with such slim pickings for a partner, it's no wonder women are starting to have babies and raise them on their own, on purpose. Who says a child in a two parent home is better off? There are plenty of screwed up people that have a mother and father present. I just finished watching a special on the octomom, and while I really don't agree with anything she's done, or how she is, I do support her choice to be a single mother. The biggest issue wasn't that she had 14 kids, its that she had them out of wedlock. So what is she supposed to do? Add a man to the mix and flood her life with yet another person that is child like? She's better off with the nannies and herself, I believe. If I were to get to a point, and find myself not on the path to a white gown, I don't believe my choice for motherhood should be jeoperdized.

Late night free thought

Alrighty, so I was thinking, as Black Women are we punished or reprimanded for being independent. I am not talking about being mean or cruel. I am saying that we as women of color have no choice to just get what we want out of life. There is no silver spoon in our mouths. Even if your parents have some " money" you have to be educated and/or accomplished. There is more pressure on us to work more regardless of socioeconomic status. Guess what, for a black women to even get welfare she has to do more than a non black person, lol, I know this sounds funny but it is true. So this watchdog that is on us, how do we cope. As much as I pray etc, I live with this sense of will society and my enviroment allow me to just be me. We are either seen as empty headed women shaking our butts, or angry women without reason. As I go to bed tonight, I once again must affirm, hey I am fine, I am doing my best, this is a problem in society. As much as we look beautiful, learn so much, enjoy so much, at the end of the day, the message of treating black women better has to become NOT OUR PROBLEM. The only problem we now face is to communicate this message to young women in our lives. I now see that having a Black President may get us too comfortable. Last night I was watching a movie on the Black Panthers, I thought of so many that died the past 400 years, and I said to myself, have we lost something. A while back Bill Cosby had a rant about the " black community", I look around sometimes and wonder is he right? Are we forced as people of color to stripe away are blackness whenever possible ? The very thing we need we give away. I see our history and culture like a home, a place we must come to when we encounter the obstacles in mainstream America. Even though we have Barack Obama, we must remember he had to outperform his competitors by a landslide. He also realized he needed the support of the African American community, so he went to Chicago and was active in a Black Church. He has always been an activist for human beings period, but he knew he had to be apart of a black community as well. So is this our gift and curse? We as black women are robbed of our femininity to some extent, we are forced to defend ourselves most of the time, we can either become angry or bitter, or we can be the butterfly that goes into the sky into what we want to be? the big question here is if we are able to land, able to rest, in our own country, our own cities, and our own communities?

Kim and Reggie split

Are we really surprised? I mean really?

A History of Black Home Ownership in Urban Areas

This discusses historically some of the issues concerning African American home ownership. I think some of the problems we face today are rooted in this inequality of access to financial institutions. As African American women we have to work twice as harder(or ten times), sometimes we are the only head of household, or for whatever reason looking for our mates, and this issue seems to cripple us even more than other groups. I now realize how I must learn about this green stuff called money in America. We are talking about the Gates issue this past week, but issues such as health care reform and owning property are specific ways problems become larger for us as African American women. Well when it comes to owning property and investments I have a long way to go, but looking at the history and current problems more accurately can help me overcome some of these conditions in the near future. I myself plan to own a piece of America too. I plan to teach my daughter as much as possible about how certain things were set up, and how she can bypass these issues with good planning.....




The Tavis Smiley Show

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